Skate Cleaning Theatre feat. Spock, Chewie, Yoda, Harley, Ivy, and Beer

Me: Aww. Look at this dirty stank skate. Skate, someone hasn’t loved you much recently, have they?

Skate: Bitch needs to clean me.

Spock: Having dirty skates is illogical

Ivy and Harley: *blah blah blah girl stuff Batman plants shoes ponies Joker*

Left Front Wheel: I like to wallow in my own filth. It’s all good.

Skate: I’m too sexy for my wheels, too sexy for my wheels.

Yoda: Yes, sexy without the wheels, you are.

Spock: Stop, in the name of love.

Me: Seriously, quit it with the lame songs. All of you.

Me: Oh, these wheels are just seriously grody.

2nd Wheel From The Left (Left Front Wheel): Oh, well, fuck you lady.

Shoelace: Iiiiii’m gonna getcha!

Far Right Wheel: Nooooooo!

Nuts: Deez nuts be dirrrrrty!

Me: You got my hand all gross…

Nuts: Hey-oh! That’s what she said!

Beer: ‘Sup

Yoda: *Stares off into space*

Chewie: Rrrrrraaaaaghr!

Me: Well, at least you’re kind of clean now.

Far Right Wheel: That’s what you think. The guy on the far left has the WheelAIDS.

Far Left Wheel: Fuck you! That’s a birthmark!

Skate: My nubs are free! *nub wiggle*

New bushings: We look like Lifesavers!

Me: And yet you don’t taste like Lifesavers. I am disappoint.

Skate: HOW DID I END UP UPSIDE DOWN?

Me: I don’t know!

Skate: FIX THIS!

Me: This Moto bearings case is one of the best things ever.

Bearings: LET US OUT!

Me: Oh, these new bearings are greasy!

New bearings: Lubed for your pleasure!

Me: Ugh…

Bottom wheels: Yeah! Bearings in our holes!

Top wheels: Mmhf mmphf mmf!

Me: Awesome! Clean wheels, new bushings, new toe stop, and cute new turquoise nuts!

Skate: Not bad. Not bad at all.

Beer: Photobomb!

This has been a production of Skate Cleaning Theatre. Stay tuned for This Ain’t Skate Cleaning Theatre XXX.