C-Pain’s New Year’s Resolutions 2012

Tasha isn’t into New Year’s resolutions. LAME.

1. Stop being a hater on the internet. Bitches are awesome, haters are lame. FACT.
2. Lather, rinse, and then repeat.
3. Exercise once in a while. Breaking blocks in Minecraft is not exercise.
4. Hey, “novelist”, write the novel already.
5. Be funnier. Just… be funnier.
6. Remember how last year you wanted to watch more Star Trek? Well, watch more Star Trek.
7. Commit to roller derby.
8. Finally learn how to tomahawk stop.
9. Make YouTube explode with awesomeness.
10. Podcast like a motherfucker.
11. Stop acting like a retard around people at comic cons. Put it into perspective. They draw on dead trees for money.
12. Stop eating carbs.
13. Stop eating out of the hippie section of the supermarket.
14. Stop eating fingernails.
15. Wear the stripper glitter lotion more often.
16. Makeup. Use it.
17. Buy a new piece of clothing every week. (Quit dressing like a hobo.)
18. Quit liking horrible music.
19. Write the weekly comic book column every week.
20. Be awesome.